Opinion: Can Nine Reclaim Some Glory?

Channel Nine is currently undergoing a resurgence of sorts, after a very lacklustre start to the year.

After heavily promoting the fourth series of The Block in its new 7PM timeslot, it has proven a decent new alternative in its first week on air.

Of course, its strong first week figures will be slightly inflated due to the massive publicity push, but it has arguably begun to turn around Nine's fortunes.

And let's face it, any old show that can pull half-decent figures for Nine (we're talking over a million) will be more than welcome on its schedule, as its first half of the year has certainly been one to forget for the network.

After starting the year touting itself as the "Home of Comedy" it put forth its first offering in the form of Ben Elton Live From Planet Earth. And we all know how that one ended:



Low ratings combined with the worst critical reception to a show in recent memory made for a genuine, out-and-out stinker of a show.

Faced with failure, Nine felt it had no choice but to flog the hell out of its imports in Two and a Half Men and Top Gear, two programs that had done very well for the network in 2010.

However, repeating these "hit shows" ad nauseam led to viewer fatigue, and pretty soon they began turning off in droves.

Today, Top Gear is nowhere to be seen on Nine's main channel, with Two and a Half Men pushed late into the night. You can find it now at 10:30PM on a Tuesday night.

Continue reading after the jump...

Ratings Wrap: Monday 1st March: "Life" premiere rates gets a "pass" mark.

THE BIGGEST STORY

While 1,048,000 is nothing to celebrate
for This is Your Life, it is positively spectacular compared to recent efforts by Nine (Live From Planet Earth, namely).

THE BIG WINNER

My Kitchen Rules ruled the roost again with 1,461.

BATTLEGROUND

Millionaire Hot Seat: 561,000
Deal or No Deal: 544,000

Today Tonight: 1,323,000
A Current Affair: 971,000

ABC News: 1,035,000
Home and Away: 1,050,000
Two and a Half Men: 982,000
The 7PM Project: 755,000

Sunrise: 368,000
Today: 297,000

HOLDING STEADY

Glee: 909,000
$#!t My Dad Says: 804,000
Brothers and Sisters: 744,000

NEGUS WATCH

425,000

Low, but not his lowest.

SLIPPING... SLIPPING

Good News Week: 554,000

Ben Elton Live From Planet Earth Episode 3 Review: Here we go again, again.

No laughs for the first sketch with Julia Gillard. None.

That's how this week's BELFPE kicked off. Here we go again, people.

Some more topical crap. And what else would he joke about- Ricky Nixon. I'm afraid in the age of twitter, most of these jokes had already been said.

"Sales are dropping like Warnie's trousers". Another week, another potshot at Elton's critics. And this week, it's the newspapers who are obsessed with ratings.

Ooh, a new character; "Toughy Nightly". Unfortunately, one that wasn't that funny, and was merely meant to highlight Paul McCarthy's Julia (now in its second appearance in the same show).

However, it is quite good. In terms of impression at least.

And for someone who doesn't listen to- or care for- his critics, he has seemingly increased the role of Elaine Front exponentially from week 1.

She almost had more time on screen than the host before the first break. And, unfortunately, her sheen is starting to wear off.

And calling one of the part-Aboriginal actresses a "mongrel" due to her mixed heritage. Hmm, lucky not many people will be watching, Ben.

The two schoolgirls have now appeared in 3 out of 3 episodes. Elton seems sure that they are winners. They ain't.

And I didn't even realise that the cook was called NIGELLA (Sauce). I mean, that- I think- lies at the heart of the problem of the show. It's just all so utterly spelled out for the viewer.

And the confusing thing is for viewers, is that they are not sure whether it's Ben Elton not being funny enough, or treating the viewers like complete morons.

Elton even joked about the "double entendres" during the Nigella sketch. She referred to her husband liking (chicken) "breast". And guess what? It could've simultaneously meant her breasts! All the while, Nigella flaunted her breasts... In case you didn't get it.

And I'm sorry, Girl Flat was just the same as the last two weeks. (That means it was awful). So, really, no point discussing it. Awful.

The Elaine-Brynne interview had potential, but didn't all those jokes surface around the time of the Brownlow over a year and a half ago?

Ah, well. It was bearable.

New characters cropped up: country Australian stereotype, parents who feel like taxi drivers... Next!

Then there was a swipe at the very deserving target of Lisa Mitchell of Australian Idol fame. One that consisted of the three singers asking for "throat" lollies... Repeatedly.

Deary, deary me.

So, after 3 weeks, I have figured out two possible causes of the problem. Has Elton's style of humour really become this obvious, one-dimensional and juvenile? Or does he think that that's all that Australian audiences are capable of understanding?

What do you think it is?

Ben Elton Live From Planet Earth Review S01E02: Any Better?

UPDATED: Well, here we are. Are we witnessing television history in the form of Ben Elton's last show? Or, are we witnessing yet another great Australian come-from-behind win, a Stephen Bradbury, even? Yes, that's the type of humour that is still hanging around the show.

[caption id="attachment_185" align="alignnone" width="590" caption="Hey! I'm Ben "Young Ones" Elton. You're actually meant to be laughing NOW. And if you're not, you don't understand COMEDY. But don't tweet about it if you don't understand my humour, U ID"][/caption]

Anyway, the big question was, will Elton actually change his style of humour dramatically in response to his critics (read: everyone on Planet Earth)?

And the answer is: well, not really.

He opened with some "satire"- which he pointed out to us, just after the sketch finished- of Julia Gillard. Yes, the impression was good. But then came the references to "moving forward", etc. It would've been funny if it came maybe, say, around November last year. But what do I know?



Hey, at least it was something we hadn't seen last week. Right?

But what ruined the show for mine, came only in the first segment.

It was Ben Elton responding to critics.

Not by stating he would be changing his act, but by attacking the people who criticised him.

He called tweeters "twats", because apparently, the opinion of plebs doesn't really matter, and if it does, we don't know anything. We also don't know what's funny. And Elton does. So just sit back and LAUGH, DAMMIT!

It became clear that he wasn't going to change his style of humour, but defend it to the very end. I was ready to give him another go, but it was obvious that he didn't want to take any criticism on board. So don't expect any goodwill from anyone. But I will still comment objectively... well, you be the judge.

He also went on another rant against the people who criticised his naughty language, or rather the idea of naughty language. He just came off like an indignant little kid, not wanting to go to the naughty corner.

[caption id="attachment_187" align="alignnone" width="590" caption="BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND"][/caption]

Oh, and just in case you thought that things had changed from last week, they haven't. The schoolgirls are still there. So are the chardonnay-sippers. And this time, the didn't make the audience laugh once. Once.

OK, so to be fair, there were a few things that were different. Elaine Front was brought to the front of the show. And it was still pretty good- yep, so not much had changed. Even the joke about her name being pronounced EEE-laine Front.

Some things also got the chop from Week 1, like the female... Male bodybuilder and the offensive public school teacher. Remember them? Me neither... (Well I do, it's kind of hard to forget, but you know).

They were seemingly shafted to make way for the new Julia Gillard and big miner tax; while they were a step up from some of last week's stuff, they still don't quite cut it.

But, they were slightly better nevertheless. So it makes you wonder why they didn't just go all out and press refresh on the entire show- try all new characters (save for maybe, Elaine Front).

[caption id="attachment_188" align="alignnone" width="590" caption="HE'S A RAPPER RAPPERS SAY WORDS LIKE BIZZLE THAT'S WHY IT SAYS BIZZLE BEHIND HIM. Oh you don't get it, do you?"][/caption]

There was also a female singer who spewed words like "FUCKING" and a male rapper (who was played by a woman) who spewed words like "pussy". Yep, Elton was persisting with smut, that was for sure. I didn't find it funny, but what do I know- I'm just a tweeter.

[caption id="attachment_191" align="alignnone" width="590" caption="In case you missed it last week, let me explain this sketch to you. OK, so that's Amy Winehouse. She likes drugs..."][/caption]

OK, then there's Girl Flat. There was yet another parody of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab". Yep, even the song was the same.



Hey, but this time she said "JIHAD". The characters are still one-dimensional. Like a proper journalist, here's a proper quote and that to prove it. "Beyonce" sings "My bootylicious booty" and my "booty is so bootylicious" to her song "Single Ladies".

There was also Fiona O'Loughlin who was quite good. And the inimitable Tim Minchin. However, and here's some real criticism. They actually bring the show down. Because they are so good that they make the rest of the show seem crap... or crapper.

(I have been informed by commenter "Sophie" that Tim Minchin's song he performed was called "Lullaby".)



But once again, I have to compliment the performers, who, I still believe rise above the dated material. And Ben Elton is still good as a host. If only he didn't keep saying "Live comedy"... if you still need the novelty of it being "Live" to prop up your show, then you may be in a touch of trouble. Yes, the live factor is great, but at the end of the day, it isn't going to save it from being trite.

Then, there was some more "gentle satire", labelled for us, once again. It was a "big miner". It seemed more like a serious pundit on A Current Affair- especially since he used words like "UnAustralian" and "Fair go", without any laughs in the background to prove it was actually meant to be funny. The "joke" came in the form of a play on "Fair go"; apparently "big miners" want to "Fair bugger up the country, then go". Don't expect any more laughs if there's only one joke in a sketch.



But Elton might say, look at Minchin, his song isn't peppered with gags. Yes, true. But his song was utterly entrancing, actually controversial, and actually funny.

So, after all that talk of altering the show, it didn't seem all that different at all. Myself and many more people were generous enough to give it another shot, only to be insulted by more of the same stuff that had people turning off in droves last week.

And then his attacking of Twitter came across as merely a bitter man unwilling to face up to his mistakes. The idea of him taking on criticism was at odds with him criticising his critics. And then, what really took the cake at the end of the show, was seemingly a complete backflip, and he began to beg for approval: "Why not give us a friendly tweet?"

Um, no thanks Ben.



So, what did you think? Any better?

No Falaughing Matter

Just a word on the latest Eddie McGuire furore.

You might even say the most recent "food-in-mouth" scandal... If you wanted to get punched in the nose.

It all started when Eddie was having a bit of to-and-fro with GWS coach Kevin Sheedy on his Hot Breakfast radio show on Triple M Melbourne.

Now, the context is important and it isn't. It isn't because all you need to know is that Sheedy was being his usual cheeky self, in-part being honest about their hunt for players, and in-part baiting Eddie, knowing full-well that Eddie has been acting even more Mother Hen-like after the Premiership win in 2010. Also knowing that he is just about the only man who can offer Collingwood players more money than Collingwood itself.

Therefore when Sheedy spoke of "picking a team of all players off-contract", and there being "a lot of Collingwood players on this team"... just to add fuel, "Sheeds" also said it's a "Deal or No Deal" situation.

Then Eddie had about a minute to come up with this: "I've just put a team together of your seventeen year olds who'll be sick of living up in the land of the felafel in Western Sydney..."

So the context was Eddie having a go at Sheedy... and Western Sydney.

That is, I think, what Eddie does not grasp. Eddie, today, tried to justify his comments by equating it to saying Carlton's the "land of the pizza". If you were to hear that on say, a program such as Postcards, you wouldn't bat an eyelid- so he is right. However, they would be painting Carlton in a positive light by trying to highlight its dominant ethnic identity, that of a large Italian population, with a defining reputation for its iconic Lygon Street.

So this is when context is crucial.

Eddie was using it as a slur against Western Sydney- nothing more, nothing less.

Now you might be like Eddie and declare your unbridled love for all things falafel. You might say that even in the context it was in and whatever intent Eddie had, that it isn't even that damaging in content. However, think of the connotations associated with a fried falafel and then the connotations involved in alluding to pizza or "haggis" (as he also calls his father a "haggis-muncher").

Yes, because the racial associations with these foods play no part at all, do they? These cultures have long been a part of Australian culture, or at least the ancestry of many Australians. The days of teasing someone as a "wog" are now over, so why would calling something a land of pizza be even a slight jibe?

This is why these seemingly innocent jibes against some groups do so much damage. Take Ben Elton's Live From Planet Earth. During a "public school teacher" sketch, a teacher said various made-up Asian-sounding names (one for example, sounded like "ain't-shit") and implied how ridiculously hard they were working.

Now, this seems like a compliment, and on the surface, it is. But, these sort of compliments or observations have a more insidious racism, even it is more hidden.

Either way, the person saying these "jokes" is usually feeling threatened, and uses his or her position chatting to a bunch of friends or thousands of people, to simultaneously make themselves more secure and take another group (usually in a lower position to start with) down a peg or two.

And of course, you always get the perpetrator of an offensive remark defending themselves by saying it was all a joke or some such.

And sometimes it is.

Here's the distinction; the Chaser Make a Wish Sketch was utterly lambasted for uttering the line "they are just going to die anyway". I'm not for one second defending it by saying how funny it was. I am also not saying it was tasteful or nice in any way. But! At no stage did anyone think the Chaser laughed at the fact that these kids were sick; their intention was not to make these kids or their families lose hope. They were trying- poorly- to be so outrageous that it was somehow funny. Needless to say it didn't work, but the point is- their intention was not a nasty one.

As Ricky Gervais said, comedy can either come from a good place or a bad place. And while the Chaser did not have their comedy come from a good place, it certainly wasn't the other.

And no one can deny that protective
Eddie wasn't trying to land a knockout blow with an easy stereotype of both the Lebanese population and the rest of the people of Greater Westen Sydney.